For so many of us who ride, fathers and motorcycles are inextricably entwined. Whether your father inspired you to ride, taught you to ride, or maybe tried to discourage you from riding, you know what I mean.
My case is different. My father rode a 50 cc motorbike for one year out of necessity and never had interest in riding again, and I have no children of my own, so I'm totally a non-authority on the sometimes-complex relationships between fathers, their children, and motorcycles. So with Father's Day in mind, I decided to get some thoughts from four fathers who are at very different stages in their life journeys, from one just starting to push his son on a tricycle to a father whose work is mostly done, with rather spectacular success to show for it. Three are regular contributors here at Common Tread and one is an invited guest.
Here's what these four fathers have to say about their children, motorcycles, and what advice they'd pass along to others.
Marc Gagne: Your ambitions shouldn't exceed your child's
You might think I called Marc Gagne because his son, Jake, is a three-time MotoAmerica Superbike champion, but that's the secondary reason. The main reason I wanted to talk to Marc is because when I interviewed his son in 2021, when he clinched his first Superbike championship, he made a point of praising the way his father raised him. "I started racing motocross at five or six and my dad was awesome," Jake said. "He was never one of those crazy mini dads, you know. He just wanted me to have fun, told me he believed in me."
Marc Gagne grew up racing motorcycles himself in Southern California, but in the dirt, not on a roadrace course. Taking Jake to race as a boy, he saw the full range of parenting that's on display in the youth motocross scene.
"The 50 deal was worse than Little League ever dreamed to be," Marc said. "Some of these kids are just getting beat up. It's kind of disgusting. It happens in every sport. There's a push for these children to make it. They start them really young. They send them to camps. We didn't have any of that back when we were growing up.
"For us, it started with let's just go have fun with a little minibike in the back yard. It was always about fun and enjoying it."
Jake's talent — no less an authority than his sometime training partner Eli Tomac says Jake could still rank in the top 20 in Pro Motocross, even after so many years of roadracing — and a lucky break put Jake on the path to his current success, but Marc worries about parents taking big financial risks and pushing their children.
"Jake was backed by KTM Amateur Sport back when he was on 65s and 85s (in motocross). I walked into my buddy's dealership and signed him up for Red Bull Rookies Cup and never thought twice about it. Until I got a call from Kevin Schwantz, and I didn't know who that was. So it just shows what can happen if you're in the right place at the right time and you have the right mental attitude. That's what it's all about. Just making sure your child is doing what he loves, not what you love. Because you'll end up in trouble a few years down the road.
"You've got to be careful because 95% of them don't make it. You've got to be realistic and I think that a lot of that's been lost. You can spend your life savings trying to have a 10-to-15-year-old do what you think he should and that's scary. It's scary for the child, too.
"The odds against Jake doing what he's doing are astronomical. He's been paid to ride motorcycles since he was 15 years old. For him to make a living and be where he's at is quite phenomenal. Never saw it coming. Never pushed it. Never expected it. You can't have those expectations or you'd miss the ride the whole way.
"I couldn't be any prouder of my boy, that's for sure. He's definitely a great kid, great adult, great man. He's not about fame at all. You can tell by his social media presence, which is almost nothing at all. That's not what it's about for him. He's about doing his job and winning races and he does that for himself, nobody else. Which is the way it should be."
Marc's advice for other fathers?
"What I've always said is, as a father, don't let your expectations exceed your child's. That's where you get in trouble. I always made sure Jake wanted to do what he was doing. I never pushed him. I supported him but never pushed him."
Michael Megliola: Joys and fears of riding with adult children
Michael Megliola has three sons who ride and two of them have girlfriends who ride, so as he noted in a recent Common Tread article, "At any given moment, at least one of them has a big idea." It's his youngest son, Leo, who really caught the motorcycle bug. And Michael didn't plan it that way. At all.
"As our three boys entered grade school, I took care to hide the motorcycles," he said. "By the time Leo came along, the only two-wheeled artifact of my prior life was a Genuine Stella scooter, a 1970s-era Vespa PX that a factory in India forgot to stop making. Leo would ride on the back. His feet couldn't reach the floorboards, so we took side streets, at the pace of a brisk walk. Seemed innocent enough to me.
"It wasn't. Unlike his two older brothers, Leo has always been fascinated with things that go. When I next looked up, Leo was 18, telling me I could teach him to ride or he could learn on his own. I replied no, and no. I was afraid.
"Leo scoured Craigslist until he found a one-owner 1973 Honda CB500 that had been sitting since the 1990s. At least it's broken, I thought, but Leo fixed it. He won't crash something he worked so hard on, I thought. That's when we started riding together."
Leo proved to be a naturally skilled rider, but that didn't keep his father from worrying. It did, however, lead to some unforgettable memories.
"When Leo headed back to school at the University of California San Diego, I brought him my Moto Guzzi V7. That meant he got to class in 10 minutes instead of 30, and parking cost less than tuition. The next summer he found a scrappy-but-solid Honda VFR800, and we rode from our home in New Hampshire to San Diego. Nothing I've ever done, nor imagined, could replace that trip in my memory.
"This Father's Day, I will be in San Diego, attending Leo's graduation. While I still worry every time he starts his bike, I realize it's been a giant positive part of his life. Without his bike, he would not have met Abby, at a UCSD rider's maintenance day. We wouldn't know his roommate, Alec, who bombs cross-country on a KTM and stays with us for a few days in the summer. He would have one fewer thing in common with his advisor, a distinguished physicist who gets to campus on a Zero. We wouldn't have spent all those hours talking bikes and looking at maps before I went to sleep and he went back to his problem set."
"For Leo, I think the most important thing about riding is how it clears his head. Leo can't read, at least not the way I do. He confuses the days of the week — forget about the months of the year, that's hopeless — and would score zero on spelling tests. His grade school report cards said he did not participate. On the other hand, he dropped out of high school to find harder math and physics courses, which was awkward, because his mom heads the high school's math department.
"When he's way too deep into a problem in quantum theory or particle physics, when he might forget to eat or sleep, riding the bike home puts him right back in the here and now. It is like a reset button for his brain.
"On Father's Day weekend, his mom and I will see him receive the UCSD Malmberg Prize for Physics, which to Leo came as a complete surprise. Then he will get on his bike with his friends and my heart will skip one beat. He is going to take a few weeks off this summer, and we'll get to ride together."
Aaron Miles-Cobb: Fostering interests, not forcing them
Very aware of the pitfalls Marc Gagne talked about above, Common Tread contributor Aaron Miles-Cobb has spent a lot of time thinking about his influence over his young children. A small and even charming incident when he was recently walking the dog, with his three-year-old daughter Alba along on her balance bike, moved him to put those thoughts into writing.
"As we strode through local fields, I observed with joy as she carved up the hills, sweeping up and down on her trusty steed. But it was her next action that left me very deep in thought. For as she pulled up next to me, she stared down at her handlebar and then promptly reached out to turn on the imaginary ignition switch, pressed the starter, and proceeded to make a rumbling engine noise. This was followed by her speeding off — continuing up the imitated rev band with quite some conviction, I may add — into the distance.
"As she sped off, I stood there with a mix of emotions. On one hand I was filled with immense happiness that she seemed to be bonding with me through my passion. Yet on the other hand I couldn't help but wonder if I was unwittingly inflicting my lifestyle upon her.
"Nobody needs to be reminded just how impressionable the mind of child can be. They all have their role models in life and for me, it was my grandfather. Cherished memories include me sat next to him while he showed me all the features on his Jaguar XKE, and doing laps around the dinner table with my BMX on what would be his last Christmas. It is beyond clear to me that these formative years shaped me into the man I am today.
"And with that thought conscious in my mind, I am very aware of the power I have to influence my little girls. In my case, I am grateful for my grandfather's influence and where it has taken me. But for every happy story with a similar narrative, equally there will be narratives with not such desirable outcomes. Where the fine line between an encouraging parent and a parent wishing to fulfil ambitions through their child becomes blurred. For me it has become a priority to get myself in check and clearly understand this line in the sand before I get too excited and expect my daughter to become the next Mary McGee."
Two other factors influenced Aaron's thinking. He and his wife looked into enrolling their children in a preschool guided by the child-led learning approach, and he remembered his own childhood experiences on the golf course, where some of his peers were pressured to perform by parents wanting to live out their dreams through their children.
"This (child-led learning) ethos seems to sit well in my mind when tackling the interests of the motorcycle. Whenever Alba helps me spanner on the bike, or watches a Moto GP race, it has to be because she wants to. The moment she gets bored and drops the activity is fine. I let her move on. Kids have a short attention span at the best of times. Pushing the subject will only serve to exhaust enthusiasm. When I look back at my memories with my grandfather, they were all fun. He must have struck that balance well.
"I'll admit that as I watched Alba speed off down the hill, in the back of my head there was that image of her becoming the first female MotoGP champion. But unfortunately in this modern world where we seek an advantage as early as possible, we are already setting up a whole stack of pressure on the kid. As a child on the golf course, I would see endless pressure inflicted on my peers from overbearing parents trying to live out their dreams through them. All while throwing endless cash on equipment and coaching in the hope that their kid gets that marginal advantage. Luckily for me, my parents weren't so pushy.
"These memories quickly resurfaced when I recently watched 'Speed Kids.' All the same pressures were demonstrated but with one crucial addition: risk. I felt a sense of unease imagining myself sending my daughter out on track. I feel there is no way my daughter could ever fully comprehend the risks and consequences to make an informed choice. If she is adamant that she wants to race, I'll support her 100%, but that is a choice for her to make at an age where I am confident she understands the gravity of the discipline.
"Now I know that this will not be everyone's perspective on the matter, and that is OK. We, as parents, all have different approaches and perspectives. There is no greater satisfaction and joy than being able to share our passion with our kids, but we must ask ourselves, 'Who are we really doing this for?' When Alba welcomes me home from a ride, she sees that passion in my expression, and naturally that fosters intrigue. And that for me is the key word, to 'foster' rather than force. Let it be their choice and let them take the lead."
Spurgeon Dunbar: Imagining motorcycling as family time
Comoto Director of Content Planning Spurgeon Dunbar is still in his first year of fatherhood, but he has an image of how motorcycling might fit into a lifestyle he and his wife want for little Spurgeon.
"I recently attended Durty Dabbers, a two-day dual-sport event in Lock Haven, Pennsylvania, nestled in the hills between Bald Eagle State Forest and Sproul State Forest. Over 600 riders gathered for a weekend of riding and camaraderie and many brought their families, which lent itself to a campsite full of kids on bicycles, Stacycs, and small dirt bikes. From my vantage point, it seemed that for the most part kids spent the weekend roaming around the campgrounds freely, not a cell phone in sight. The vibe reminded me of a bygone scene from the 1971 classic film 'On Any Sunday.'
"On a recent trip to the recycling center to drop off a truckload of cardboard, I found myself saving a discarded Radio Flyer tricycle from an untimely death in the scrap metal pile. I wasted no time rolling my kid, 9 months old at the time, down the hill at the end of our block. Mom held the camera.
In addition to terrorizing the neighborhood on his trike, 'Lil Spurg' recently started joining me on mountain bike rides. I have a little backpack that I load him into and we head out on adventures together. Mom recently got a bike as well to join in on the fun. He squeals and laughs, seemingly indicating his enjoyment of these two-wheeled treks.
"At nearly a year old, my son has had almost zero screen time, something that my wife and I are pretty proud of. I'd like to think we're just encouraging an active lifestyle and doing our best to offer him a simpler childhood, similar to how my brothers and I grew up in the 1980s. Ultimately, while I think it would be fun if Lil Spurg was interested in sharing some of my hobbies like motorcycling, I don't feel like it's something I want to force on him.
"Watching those kids ride around the campsite this past weekend while parents mingled, I'd say I am mostly interested in motorcycling for my son purely for the family camaraderie aspect of it. I'd love to have him tag along to these events and watch him ride around with other kids throughout the day. And to be clear, I've got the Stacycs charged up in the garage should he show an interest, but for now I'll just be happy to keep sharing in our tricycle rides and mountain bike adventures."
Happy Father's Day
Nothing left to say except happy Father's Day and best wishes to everyone out there doing the most important job in the world, being a parent.