Five retro-grouch motorcycles for 2020

Writing that obit was no fun; that motorcycle has been so many things to so many riders over the years. Unfortunately, lots of other neat, simple bikes have gone by the wayside recently, too. Yamaha’s kicker-equipped SR400 appears to have packed it in. My beloved Suzuki Savage/LS650/S40/whatever you wanna call it won’t be back in 2020 either. So what’s left for someone looking for a rolling anachronism?

The list is short. At this point, really old-timey motorcycles are dropping at about the same rate as really old-timey motorcyclists. If you want to buy a basic, no-frills motorcycle and you want to buy it new, we’re getting down to the wire here. Here’s a short list of the simplest Stone-Age motorcycles available for the upcoming model year. Don’t be afraid to pick up a leftover from a dealer floor, but if that’s not possible, here’s what’s left.

2020 Kawasaki Z125 Pro and 2020 Honda Grom/Monkey

Why they’re on the list: Four-speed transmission; air-cooled; twin shocks on the Monkey.

I got no problems with a four-speed. Stink’s Grom has one, I have owned a jillion old Harley units, and also had a Shadow with a four-speed that I turned a lot of miles on many moons ago. But most riders nowadays think of even a five-speed as decidedly antiquated. But four speeds is just fine. They get the job done, and because there aren’t six thousand gears packed onto the mainshaft and countershaft, they can be made nice and wide, leading to strong trannies.

Both these little squirts have a lay-down single, too, that gets lots of cool air moving over the cylinder head and valves. That makes for easy access, easy repair, and easy servicing. (Valve checks go fast when you can leave the fuel tank on!)

The Z125 Pro and Grom are similarly designed motorcycles, and both feature some modern touches like fuel-injection and upside-down forks, but I’d argue that at their core, these are pretty basic, reliable bikes that most home mechanics should have no problem approaching. If you want a simple, cheap motorcycle that just works, these should make your short list.

2020 Honda XR650L

Why it’s on the list: Carbureted; right-side-up fork; air-cooled; square headlight; round front fender.

In late 2012, I bought one one of these bikes brand-new. It showed up in RevZilla articles every now and again. I bought it primarily because it was easy and cheap and unlike most of my stuff… new! I reasoned that Honda wouldn’t be making it much longer, yet here we are seven model years later, and the venerable XR is still chugging along, saleswise.

The bike features a standard right-side-up fork with a comically small number of parts inside. It’s air-cooled. (That’s the reason it beat out the 2020 Suzuki DR650S for this article. That’s air-and-oil cooled. How modern! How fancy!)

The XRL sports a carburetor, bafflingly. They’re a cinch to tune if you’re well versed in fiddling with them, because tuning and caring for one big carb on a one-lung engine is brain-numbingly easy. They’re also largely unavailable on motorcycles these days, so it’s kinda neat to see one on a motorcycle you can buy on a showroom floor.

The engine has locknut-style valve lash adjusters, which is decidedly not modern, and adds to the general “you can probably buy this and never visit the dealer again” vibe if you’re a half-competent mechanic.

That square headlight and totally round (not angular) front fender make this bike an unintentional retro machine. In Honda’s press release regarding 2020 models, they included one lone photo of the big dualie. I think that speaks volumes on its importance to the brand; it can’t be long for this world.

2020 Yamaha V Star 250

Why it’s on the list: Carbureted; right-side-up fork; twin shocks; air-cooled; mechanical drum rear brake.

Retro bike or not, the V Star/Route 66/DragStar/Virago 250 has always been a bit of a curiosity as it’s a small displacement V-twin, an arrangement that’s never been particularly easy to find. (If this idea trips your trigger, check out a Moto Morini 3 ½. Molto bello.)

Beyond its somewhat unconventional layout, the motorcycle has appeal for the Neo-Luddites among us, too. One single Mikuni carburetor, regular telescoping fork, air cooling… and check out that back end. A drum brake. A mechanical drum, no less. A fluid flush on just a front brake does have some appeal, doesn’t it?

At 326 pounds wet, this is a surprisingly manageable bike for having quite a bit of caveman-era technology. 78 miles per gallon sure ain’t bad, nor is its price of $4,349. Is it a big-mile highway hauler? No, but for someone who just wants a basic street motorcycle, the quarter-bore Yam makes a compelling case for itself. (And for those of you who want to venture off the pavement on a blue bike, the TW200 is a similarly retro machine, but sporting an even more basic single-cylinder mill. The TeeDub won’t get you anywhere very fast, but it will get you where you need to be reliably, even after the Apocalypse.)

2020 Suzuki DR200S

Why it’s on the list: Carbureted; right-side-up fork; air-cooled; drum rear brake; rectangular headlight.

Now, you can’t really mention the ol’ Trailway without including a few of the other dinosaur dualies. Time stopped for a while in this corner of motorcycling, where “technology” describes those newfangled monoshock rear ends. Much like that XR we discussed earlier, the Suzuki DR series motorcycles are like rolling fossils that you can purchase new off the showroom floor, and the 200S leads the pack in anti-tech.

It’s basic. Air-cooled, single-cam engine. Disc/drum. Five-speed transmission. What Suzuki describes as a “steel pipe frame.” Under “Chassis Features,” Suzuki mentions that “the on-road legal lighting is complemented with rubber-mounted turn signals and horn.” Do you hear that, folks? A horn! This is a level of tech with which most should be comfortable. I mean... it's two wires. 

The DR has been around in some form or flavor since 1980. They are basic, affordable, sturdy… and still for sale. It’s a generic, do-most motorcycle that’s notable for its general lack of notability. Worship then with me, Luddites, in the Church of “sometimes a motorcycle that starts up and does what you ask it to is the best motorcycle you can own.” Let us pray.

2020 Yamaha PW50

Why it’s on the list: Right-side-up fork; air-cooled; two-stroke; twin shocks; kicker; drum brakes front and rear!

I know, I know, it’s a little bitty kid’s bike. But two-stroke anything is becoming hard to find nowadays, and an air-cooled 2T powerplant is kind of special in its own right. (KTM also offers teeny 2T options, but they are liquid-cooled.) I mean, when you get right down to it, this is a total-loss oiling system flathead!

You wanna talk antique? There are drum brakes at both ends of this thing! Zero lighting. No horn. This is a simple motor in a simple chassis with very, very little present on the motorcycle other than the stuff required to go, turn, and stop. The PeeWee is the same thing it’s always been: barebones ‘n’ basic.

It also has a kicker on it. No self-respecting retro-grouch could fail to appreciate that.

If you value simplicity and quaint, almost backwards motorcycles, now’s probably the time to jump in and grab one if you want to buy new. They’re not gone yet, but none of these models is probably very likely to stick around for much longer, so if you’re on the fence, you might want to mosey down to your local dealer before it’s too late.